If you are a human being, you probably have old wounds, traumas and drama. What have been your former ways of dealing with the old wounds? Is that still working for you? Are you the one that goes numb, hiding with your head in the sand or allowing the old stuff to control your new life experiences by responding to new situations the same way? Have you been stuffing all this stuff away in some very dark side of yourself.
Years ago I learned that most of the times in the 1980’s when I went for counseling for healing those wounds all we did was talk about those wounds over and over and over to nauseam. For me that did not work. When you focus on the past over and over again, it attracts the same results over and over again in their lives.
Today, I have learned a new way of being to overcome old life traumas and old wounds. Forgiveness for me not knowing better and forgiving another person that may be involved in the situation can support healing. Not everyone can do this or choose to do this. Forgiveness is not for the other person but it is for you to be able to move on. I have found myself being able to forgive in my head but not my heart. Then I tell myself” Who am I not to forgive when God does?”. I speak of God as a universal source so you may have another world for god. Try not to get hung up on the language of the word “god”.
I remind myself, how do I desire to feel and what can I release to heal. I say to myself “ What did I learn from this experience in life?”. Then I ask myself, What is the truth about that life circumstance that created the old wound and what is the story I told myself about that life circumstance. Those two scenarios should be totally different. When we claim the truth and the facts, it takes the energy and emotion out of the old wound and drama/ trauma. The story of what happened is where the energy of emotions and feelings presents itself. I am not saying , the old wound was not horrific for you. I am saying that the fact may ease the suffering from the situation of trauma and drama.
What if you choose to support other people who have also survived trauma, drama and have old wounds? Would this help you to heal? AA is one organization that supports this avenue for healing. Take the focus off of you and help others from your life experience. Let’s say you might have had breast cancer and you survived it and moved forward to thrive after it. You can choose to support others that have breast cancer and experiencing it as a wound. This is just one example. Another might be that a family member was in a severe car accident and passed. First you go through the grieving process and that is normal and part of healing if you do not get stuck there trapped in that moment of pain and suffering. That person your family member would not want you to stop living. Most people would desire you to remember who they were and celebrate their lives instead of to stop living.
In order to heal old wounds, one can feel the emotions of that experience and then observe what that can reap from it. What lessons they can learn from that experience. When we hold back the tears, the anger, and become numb or move on without experiencing the process, then one carries that trauma with them as heavy weight on their shoulders. Every life situation that reminds them of that wound creates a trigger and you respond to the trigger. All these trauma and drama that develops from the initial wound is still how you react to new situations and clouds your judgment.
When we heal, then we do not get triggered as often. When you do get triggered you may have more perspective and be capable of acting in a more responsible way with less fear. Fear is what holds us back from experiencing peace, harmony and balance.
Tell yourself that you are resilient and you will get through and past this experience in life. It IS A LIFELONG PROCESS.
Beth Badour
