Yes… I am asking… what do you believe about yourself when you’re experiencing a chronic condition like kidney disease?
(Is it the truth or a story?)
How do you know when something is true or a made up story about a fact?
For example:
Let us say that you went to the doctor and after the examination and testing the doctor gave you a diagnosis of a disease like cancer.Tell me what you may have made up about the situation and what are the facts.
The facts and truth is: 1. You went to the doctor. 2. The doctor ordered tests and examined you.. 3. Then you were given a diagnosis. 4. You were told you had cancer.
What could be the story you made up from this situation and diagnosis?
You may have said that to yourself. 1. I should have… eaten better, not smoked, went to the doctor sooner, or 2. I deserved this.
What is the truth about you and what story have you made up about yourself?
For me, the facts were..1. I went to the doctor 2. The doctor did a physical examination and an internal pelvic examination. 3. The doctor told me I might have problems having children or may be unable to have babies. The story I told myself about the facts is that “ Who would want to marry me because I might not be able to have children?”. The first scenario is generally unemotional and the second made up story is filled with emotions and drama.
Now I want you to write down and journal on what beliefs you know to be true about yourself and what you believe you made up about yourself because you told a story about the facts. What negative self-talk do you have and can you turn things around when you have negative talk about yourself?
Now write down two columns: on one side of the page write down what negative talk you made up about yourself and on the other side of the page document a positive way to respond to that negative self-talk. I will give you 3 examples.
1.I can not heal. Every time I try to get better, I learn about another diagnosis. It is impossible to get better. 1. I can heal. It takes one day and a time. Yes I may have more diagnosis and can heal from those also. I can be patient with myself and my body.
2. I am so stupid because I put myself in a situation where I was not cautious and fell breaking my leg. 2. I can be more cautious and listen to my intuition that maybe I should not be here. I can improve my balance so I am not as likely to fall in the future. I can wear better shoes for my safety. I am smart but did not listen to my gut and went there anyway.
3. I have to go to work even when I am sick because no one can do what I do at work. 3. I will take care of myself when I am sick because I am my first priority. I can not do a good job at work when I am sick so it is better for me to stay home.
What is on your list? Now change it to a positive statement.
When we have negative beliefs about ourselves or have negative self- talk, it is vibrational. Once you know you have negative self-talk and you are aware you can make a change when you are conscious about making a change.This is also called resilience. If you do not like what you say to yourself, then you can change it over time and with practice.
When you begin to be a master at self correcting yourself with this language, you are becoming a master. Changing what you say or think about yourself can affect how well you may heal.
Beth Badour
